Being an existential being is hard. The quintessential image of the human is the child looking to the heavens. The deep irony of human consciousness- to seek meaning, to question the universe, when the universe is silent.
Humans are also social beings. In looking beyond ourselves it is all too simple to see the other. Separate beings with similar capabilities and a similar mind- the only proof of our perceptual experience outside of ourselves. In assuming other humans have similar experiences to our own, others become sources of satisfying our existential cravings. Others become the agents of the universe who can speak our language. They make us feel the comfort of forgetting that we are each locked in our own perceptual prisons- isolated by the boundaries of our consciousness.
In viewing yourself and others, there are always two needs, too drives that will be present:
The need for acceptance and approval.
Yes, they are both related, often one involves the other, but not necessarily. You can be accepting of someone without approving of everything they do and you can can approve of someone without accepting them into your life.
The kindest thing you can do for someone is to validate their experience. The kindest thing you can do for someone is to help them forget that they are alone. The kindest thing you can do for them is support their dreams and welcome them into your experience as often as is possible.
Acceptance and approval are so powerful. Can you see why we fear rejection so much? Can you see why being outcast is so painful? We cling to these two needs so much that we manufacture differences and groupings just so that we can feel them. Why else do we unfairly favor some while unfairly criticizing others?
The deeper truth is that we are each fundamentally alone- our existential reality. No one can read your mind, no one can truly know you or be you. If more of us rejoiced in the beautiful ways we undermined this truth, by coming together, by loving each other, by embracing others rather than pushing them away- the world would be a brighter place.
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