All-American Hero

[This article was inspired by Christy Lemire's work in the American Way magazine]

During my travels this month, I took the time to read the feature article in the American Airlines magazine, American Way. The article presented an interview with actor Chris Evans, and I was impressed by the portrait of his personality that was painted in the piece.

Here is a guy who plays a quintessential American comic book hero, Captain America, the embodiment of down-to-earth and clear-hearted masculinity. Interestingly, Evans' personality reveals an everyday heroism beyond his comic book persona, the success, confidence, and positivity of the sensitive man.

Lemire, the article's author, applauds Evans' "openness" as he is "surprisingly candid...thoughtful, boisterous and sometime profane." Evans "radiates confidence and charisma" all the while willing to discuss his personal quirks, flaws, and demons.

Evans' words mirrored many of my own experiences. He struggles with a tendency to overanalyze and complains of being a "big sap." He loves the simple things like Disney World and spending time with hometown friends and his sister's kids. He speaks in terms of gratefulness for life's opportunities.

His advice to his past self is refreshingly simple.  Too much overthinking can lead to painful self doubt. He wishes he could just tell his past self, "Shhh!" Moreover, he explains as a natural philosopher would, "Brains are just noisy. We analyze the past, we worry about the future. Our consciousness is very spread out, and as a result, it's hard to stay present. And if you can kind of stay present and know that that's all that you have in life - life is just a series of nows - if you can kind of surrender to that, you can never lose."

Other than being impressed by Evans' ability to speak to his sincere and sensitive side and willingness to prioritize relationships with the family and friends, I was intrigued by what he noticed about his character, Steve Rogers, or Captain America. He says, "he's not that funny; he puts himself last, and I think any man who is aggressively trying to prioritize the concerns of others before his own could potentially be interpreted as boring on-screen."

This observation rings true to an experience I think many well-meaning men struggle with off-screen as well. When selfishness and macho-maleness seems to be cheerleaded by society as a way for men to get attention, how is the deeply compassionate and generous man supposed to behave? Does he stay true to his feelings and risk coming across as boring or confusing to others because he does not play into society's expectations for his behavior? 

Maybe, men like Chris Evans exemplify the solution. It is not about being selfish or macho that makes the man, but rather the confidence the man has to own to be his own hero.  The confident and generous man does not care if he comes across as boring as he follows his own compass. The confident man also does not fear his emotional side and stereotypical feminized traits. He recognizes that a whole person stays true to all parts of himself including the often hidden and suppressed emotional side. Finally, the confident man trusts himself to being kind and generous when it is appropriate and needed, and to move on and take care of himself when it is not.

I am happy that stories like Chris Evans' are being shared and can serve as a role model for the modern man. As our access to information expands, our opportunities for self-knowledge increase.  And, thus, today's men are more than ever able to meet their "feminine" side in order to construct more complex expressions of masculinity than was ever previously possible. Being more in touch with all parts of your personality as a man is not a sacrifice, but rather the possibility of reaching the full potential of masculinity. Men like Chris Evans exemplify this possibility, true leaders and the kind of all-american hero we can admire.