All-American Hero

[This article was inspired by Christy Lemire's work in the American Way magazine]

During my travels this month, I took the time to read the feature article in the American Airlines magazine, American Way. The article presented an interview with actor Chris Evans, and I was impressed by the portrait of his personality that was painted in the piece.

Here is a guy who plays a quintessential American comic book hero, Captain America, the embodiment of down-to-earth and clear-hearted masculinity. Interestingly, Evans' personality reveals an everyday heroism beyond his comic book persona, the success, confidence, and positivity of the sensitive man.

Lemire, the article's author, applauds Evans' "openness" as he is "surprisingly candid...thoughtful, boisterous and sometime profane." Evans "radiates confidence and charisma" all the while willing to discuss his personal quirks, flaws, and demons.

Evans' words mirrored many of my own experiences. He struggles with a tendency to overanalyze and complains of being a "big sap." He loves the simple things like Disney World and spending time with hometown friends and his sister's kids. He speaks in terms of gratefulness for life's opportunities.

His advice to his past self is refreshingly simple.  Too much overthinking can lead to painful self doubt. He wishes he could just tell his past self, "Shhh!" Moreover, he explains as a natural philosopher would, "Brains are just noisy. We analyze the past, we worry about the future. Our consciousness is very spread out, and as a result, it's hard to stay present. And if you can kind of stay present and know that that's all that you have in life - life is just a series of nows - if you can kind of surrender to that, you can never lose."

Other than being impressed by Evans' ability to speak to his sincere and sensitive side and willingness to prioritize relationships with the family and friends, I was intrigued by what he noticed about his character, Steve Rogers, or Captain America. He says, "he's not that funny; he puts himself last, and I think any man who is aggressively trying to prioritize the concerns of others before his own could potentially be interpreted as boring on-screen."

This observation rings true to an experience I think many well-meaning men struggle with off-screen as well. When selfishness and macho-maleness seems to be cheerleaded by society as a way for men to get attention, how is the deeply compassionate and generous man supposed to behave? Does he stay true to his feelings and risk coming across as boring or confusing to others because he does not play into society's expectations for his behavior? 

Maybe, men like Chris Evans exemplify the solution. It is not about being selfish or macho that makes the man, but rather the confidence the man has to own to be his own hero.  The confident and generous man does not care if he comes across as boring as he follows his own compass. The confident man also does not fear his emotional side and stereotypical feminized traits. He recognizes that a whole person stays true to all parts of himself including the often hidden and suppressed emotional side. Finally, the confident man trusts himself to being kind and generous when it is appropriate and needed, and to move on and take care of himself when it is not.

I am happy that stories like Chris Evans' are being shared and can serve as a role model for the modern man. As our access to information expands, our opportunities for self-knowledge increase.  And, thus, today's men are more than ever able to meet their "feminine" side in order to construct more complex expressions of masculinity than was ever previously possible. Being more in touch with all parts of your personality as a man is not a sacrifice, but rather the possibility of reaching the full potential of masculinity. Men like Chris Evans exemplify this possibility, true leaders and the kind of all-american hero we can admire.   

First is the Worst

The classic superhero phrase is "With great power comes great responsibility." Why is this the case? Because those who have the most, have the most to lose.

This is the problem of power.

Those who have the most power are the most dependent on others to sustain their power. The irony is that we frame power in terms of independence, the ability to do whatever we please. The reality, however, is much more complex. Yes, power allows you to do more, but it is also immensely limiting. The greater the power you have the more time you spend trying to maintain that power, which ironically pushes out all that great "doing whatever you want" stuff you imagined you would be doing.

America is a great example of the problem of power. We live in the most wealthy and militarily powerful country in the world, and, yet, we have severe problems with solving problems for our society as a whole. Racism and poverty are still huge issues. Our education and infrastructures are poor. Many metrics of our society rank us among third world countries.

Think of how fear is such a huge burden on American activity. We pour huge amounts of resources into our military and security institutions. Our political parties motivate us through fear, warning us of the next great terrorist attack, economic collapse, or immigrant takeover. What if all of that effort went into improvement rather than maintenance?  

The upper-middle class experience in America is also evidence of this problem. How often do families talk about money. Can we afford the new car or new vacation? Families argue about affording a new car, when the poor cannot even put food on the table for their family. Stinginess is epidemic among the wealthy. It has been shown through psychological study as well that the poor are more giving and cooperative than the rich, expending a much greater proportion of their income to benefiting others than the wealthy. This is not because the rich are bad people, but because human nature causes one's perspective and expectations to change when power is mixed in. The wealthy father worries and frets about which mutual fund to purchase, a good concern for one's financial future, but a worry created and draining of his attention entirely because he has to manage his growing amounts of stuff.

Even the philanthropic rich have a quandary of wanting to give, but also having to maintain their wealth in order to give. Bill Gates has pledged to give away all his wealth, BUT only after his death.

Americans are also weird in how we place the President of the United States and other politicians on this huge pedestal of power. The truth is the President only exists because a country of over 300 million people allow him to. Moreover, how much effort does any politician expend just trying to keep themselves in office? The politician is constantly worried about doing or saying the wrong thing and, thus, forces their own behavior into little boxes. How is that independence and freedom of the powerful?

The other big spheres of power in American society is corporations. We look at CEOs and their big salaries and imagine how great they have it. Is this true? Again, their entire existence is a balancing act of millions of things going right and allowing the business to function. They are slaves to both the functioning of the business and the demands of society, which can change. It might be hard to see this in the short term, but we see time and time again, the larger something gets the weaker it often gets.

Again and again, the story plays out. Man, superstar athletes have it great, right? What about when they get lifelong injuries and lose all their money due to lack of personal finance knowledge within a few years of retirement? Hollywood celebrities? That could be a great life if you like your picture taken every time you step outside your front door, constantly being asked to perform and never finding peace from the spotlight.

Power can be severely debilitating to true risk taking and creativity. Why take risks when I can just maintain what I already have? Why take risks when those risks could cause me to lose what I already have? Weakness seeps in through fear, complacency, and intransience.

We joke about first world problems, but is the humor derived from the pathetic nature of these complaints? It is "funny" to us because we live in this dreamworld of expectations that bears little resemblance to those of us who really have it bad...

What can one do about this problem? It needs to be forefront of the mind at anytime one desires more than they already have. That gaining power is the truly great risk, not losing it. Be careful what you sacrifice to have more. Always remember the great dependency that is invoked by power, the great corruption of power. Be wary of how your expectations and fears are warped by what you have and what you think you can afford to lose.

Be the best you can be for the world with the least amount of power you can.

And, always ask: What do I have to sacrifice to have more?

Perspectives on Economic Roles

There are two major perspectives on fulfilling a role in the economy. 

1) The world only cares about what it can get from you.

Exemplified by the classic Alec Bladwin lecture in Glengarry Glen Ross, this is the view that one is only as valuable as their output or contribution. "Good father? F**k you." It paints ones function in the economy as a game where how in demand you are and how much money you collect is a measure of your value.  
Be the cog in the machine and you will get work. 

One example of this idea in action is computer science and coding. I've heard countless times how in demand programmers are. Just learn to code and somebody will hire you. Seeing the benefits programmers receive in Silicon Valley (evidence of a tight labor market) backs this up.

While this viewpoint is highly mechanistic and pessimistically simplifies one's value in the economy into do or die framing, there are ways to see it in a more positive light. In order to have high quality output, you need to be meeting the needs present in society. Programmers are in demand because our society desires more technological developments and infrastructure. As such, by catering to the high demand areas in society you are catering to the needs of the society itself. 

However, we know needs are not the same as what is best for society. High frequency traders are in demand right now, but you have to tell an abstract story why HFT is beneficial for society. One could say the same about the demand for heroine producers and porn stars, both pay very well.

2) Be a creator

Sometimes it is easy to forget that a significant portion of our economic activity stems from people creating new needs for society.

This can be interpreted in terms of inventing new products or starting a new business whereby one is providing a new good or service to the marketplace. Also, it can apply to the producer of cultural products like music, books, and art. 

It is hard to say that society needed Harry Potter books before JK Rowling wrote them, but look at how successful she is.

These two perspectives are not exclusive of each other and every person can transition between or fulfill both at the same time. 

It is also worth noting that one may reject both paths and not participate at all. It is healthy for this to occur some of the time as the two perspectives above both frame humans as producers. It does not seem correct that humans should be obligated to constantly output like a machine or slave, or maybe all human activity is inherently an output of some sort or another...

Finally, the question of what is ethical activity is another wrinkle to finding your place in society. It is important to never conflate economic value with ethical value. American society falls into this temptation almost religiously by conflating wealth with merit, which is wrong. Economic success does not care about how good or bad a father you are. As you see above, you can fulfill major roles in society and take care of your material needs without thinking about ethics at all, but you need to!!  

One Man's Trash

Another target for entrepreneurship is waste. Any system that produces waste is by definition inefficient. If you find a way to monetize or provide a service to eliminate waste, you will be serving a valuable and much-needed purpose.

It is imperative to know that profit comes from capitalism's tendency to exploit inefficiencies. Inefficient markets have high transaction costs and this is where the service provider makes a profit.

New activities will inevitably produce new inefficiencies. New markets beget new markets in this way. If your solutions can ride this constant evolution, you will be successful.

The Constant Apology

I am sorry for not calling enough.

I am sorry for wanting to talk when you are unable to listen.

I am sorry for not knowing how much stress you are under.

I am sorry for misinterpreting your emotions.

I am sorry for assuming I know what is best for you.

I am sorry for making the same mistakes after you have given me good advice.

I am sorry for calling too often.

I am sorry for taking up your precious time with my incessant needs.

I am sorry for being unavailable when you needed me most.

I am sorry about forgetting about you when I am busy.

I am sorry for constantly asking you for help.

I am sorry for taking you for granted.

It is said that friendship is a constant apology.

I am honored that my great shame is wanting to be close with you.

The Trip to the Zoo

Little Grandmother and I went to the zoo. I showed her all the animals in vain- not a single crinkle  or smile visited her well-worn face.

I showed her the majestic lions, the kings of the savanna. I admired their majesty as they languished in the midday sun, but Little Grandmother just stared and continued to the next exhibit.

I showed her the playful sea lions. I remarked on how they reminded me of sea dogs, barking and splashing- spinning and gliding through the turquoise pool. Little Grandmother just stared and continued to the next exhibit.

I showed her the imposing gorillas, our distance relatives, the apes. I placed my hand upon the cast of a gorilla's hand, amazed at how similar it was to my own. Little Grandmother just stared and continued to the next exhibit.

I showed her the powerful grizzly bear. I wondered how lonely he must be, patrolling his cage back and forth. Little Grandmother just stared and continued to the next exhibit.

I showed her the jungle cats, and vampire bats- the Moray eels and the elephants- the flamingos and the dingoes- the zebras, the meerkats, the prairie dogs, and camels. From Little Grandmother? Just a "ho" or a "humph," a wipe of the nose, or a scratch of the wrist.

"What a day," I thought.

I exited the zoo with Little Grandmother. There was a large fountain at the zoo entrance with a bottom cast of onyx and the rest of park sprawling beyond.

Little Grandmother walked up to the fountain and looked down into the mirrored surface. I joined her there.

To my surprise! There it was, she was smiling! My own face, stupefied, melted and drooped like paraffin wax to a flame.

"My boy!" Little Grandmother spoke. "Look with me. There is you and there is me. And, up there, all the people milling about. Are we not the most beautiful of all living things?"

Why Write a Blog?

Reasons to Write a Personal Blog:

-Facebook and Twitter are good for recording events, pictures, and random blurbs or fleeting thoughts, while blogs give you the space and format to share more lasting written content and complete written pieces.

-It allows friends, family, and significant others to learn more about what you think and what your personality is- gives them just another angle from in-person and other digital representations. 

-Keep track of your interests and thoughts over time...to see how one is inevitably developing and changing

-Serves as a record of your thoughts in case you unexpectedly pass away

-Can be the start of a book or other more significant published written work

-You enjoy writing for fun

-To serve as a creative outlet when your career does not involve unconstrained writing tasks

-To create something with your time

-To externalize your internal world in a way that can be therapeutic

-To share with others when you otherwise would stay quiet

On the Cheap and the Easy

Falling in love is easy.
Falling in love with the right person is difficult.

Dreaming is cheap.
Making dreams reality is expensive.

Making promises is easy.
Keeping promises is difficult.

Having proper amounts of money is cheap.
Using money properly is expensive.

Finding friends is easy.
Growing friendships is difficult.

Replacing what you have is cheap.
Making the best of what you have is expensive.

Proposing new commitments is easy.
Remaining committed is difficult.

Often, we are enamored with what is cheap and easy.
When what is truly valuable is what is expensive and difficult.

The Two Human Needs

Being an existential being is hard. The quintessential image of the human is the child looking to the heavens. The deep irony of human consciousness- to seek meaning, to question the universe, when the universe is silent.

Humans are also social beings. In looking beyond ourselves it is all too simple to see the other. Separate beings with similar capabilities and a similar mind- the only proof of our perceptual experience outside of ourselves. In assuming other humans have similar experiences to our own, others become sources of satisfying our existential cravings. Others become the agents of the universe who can speak our language. They make us feel the comfort of forgetting that we are each locked in our own perceptual prisons- isolated by the boundaries of our consciousness.

In viewing yourself and others, there are always two needs, too drives that will be present:

The need for acceptance and approval.

Yes, they are both related, often one involves the other, but not necessarily. You can be accepting of someone without approving of everything they do and you can can approve of someone without accepting them into your life.

The kindest thing you can do for someone is to validate their experience. The kindest thing you can do for someone is to help them forget that they are alone. The kindest thing you can do for them is support their dreams and welcome them into your experience as often as is possible.

Acceptance and approval are so powerful. Can you see why we fear rejection so much? Can you see why being outcast is so painful? We cling to these two needs so much that we manufacture differences and groupings just so that we can feel them. Why else do we unfairly favor some while unfairly criticizing others?

The deeper truth is that we are each fundamentally alone- our existential reality. No one can read your mind, no one can truly know you or be you. If more of us rejoiced in the beautiful ways we undermined this truth, by coming together, by loving each other, by embracing others rather than pushing them away- the world would be a brighter place.

The Entrepreneur's Golden Rule

Every successful business is conservatory in nature- which is to say that its value comes from undermining an inefficiency. There are two resources to conserve: money and time. Any activity that sufficiently lowers the expense of capital and time required to accomplish an activity will be profitable.

This leads to two questions:

1) How does my idea lower the financial cost of doing something?
2) How does my idea reduce the temporal cost needed to do something?

This leads to three functional targets for starting a business:

1) Things that take too long
2) Things that cost too much
3) Things that take too long and cost too much

And, finally, two considerations:

1) Who are the people who are most desiring or involved in the "thing" targeted in the above list
2) How do I increase access to my service to these people just identified.

Now, with your idea formed, go out and start that business! The money will follow if the idea is sufficiently satisfies the conservation rule.