Micro-Intentionality: Building a Purposeful Life through Constructive-Destructive Meditation

Have you ever just wanted to let it all go? Have you ever wanted to just throw care to the wind for a time and not be responsible to yourself or anyone else? To pursue pleasure, to wander with the whims of mood, and to do what just feels right?

I think we all experience this at some point. I think a fair number of us act on it too.

“I’ll have one more drink, please, so I am ‘gone’ tonight.”

“Let’s go all the way with this random stranger because I just want to feel good tonight.”

“I don’t give a f*** if I get into a fight tonight, I just want to punch someone’s face in.”

“I haven’t tried coke yet, what can it hurt to try something new this once?”

I think it is one of life’s great mysteries to navigate the dichotomy of pure asceticism, living life like the most self-restrictive monk, or pure hedonism, basking in a Dionysian cornucopia of self-indulgent pleasures and ecstasies.

Is there a middle way to resolving these two seemingly opposite ways of approaching life?

This is where a tweak to your internal evaluating mechanism, that voice in your head that asks, “is this the right thing to do?,” can offer a way forward.

Because, it is so often our sense of morality, that abstract manifestation of our values, that often plays a role in affecting our behavior. Western philosophy has done its fair share to asceticize human activity by exploring rigid rule systems and desperately trying to affirm some reality of what is Right or Wrong.

The problem is no such Rightness or Wrongness exists in nature. Good and Evil are human constructs and highly dependent on circumstances and shared understandings of things. Because really, things like murder, for example, the word itself having evil baked into it by context, are just actions. And actions are simply that, actions.

Why? Because everyone is capable of murder as an action. This is obvious insofar as murder just means killing someone else, which is a physical act.  Its pretty easy for me to push you over a cliff- the equivalent action to pushing open a stuck door. One outcome is an open door, the other is death.

So, if you haven’t thought about this already, morality is placed on top of actions, i.e. it is something separate from actions and physical capabilities. It doesn’t mean they are any less important or meaningless, they are just not related in the way often assumed.

You can’t murder, not because the act itself is evil, but because the act itself is said to be evil. The community or your internal values system has decided that such and such behavior is not supposed to be performed, etc.

With this thought is mind, what are we left with when we talk about Good and Bad?

In my opinion, these terms are so tainted by preexisting ideologies that they are almost useless. Due to this corruption, that black and white right and wrongness that certain religions and philosophies have applied to the world, disrespects the true greyness of reality.

We get SO anxious as a result. If everything has a moral finality to it, then every action is either definitively right or wrong and, thus, we either absolutely f***ked it up or absolutely were right. How can we ask such certainty of anyone?

Humans are fundamentally limited beings. We do not have epistemic access to absolute Truths. So why do we expect ourselves and others to basically be gods of morality, and to know True Good and True Evil?

I offer an alternative in the form of Micro-Intentionality. Do not make every moral qualm a question of absolute Right or Wrong. Rather, make every choice just one piece of a very large life project, such that any one choice cannot totally derail nor is totally meaningless to future outcomes for your life.

This is where the terms constructive and destructive come in. If you see life as a collection of choices that partially do and don’t matter rather than a series of do-or-die questions, I think you end up getting closer to reaching your highest potential as a human being.

In this way, you practice compassion for yourself and others by not applying draconian expectations to situations, while still maintaining a hand on the wheel, so to speak, to keep you oriented in a positive general direction.

So how does it work? Pick a set of words like constructive or destructive, or progressive and regressive, etc- whatever works for you and is less intimidating than the overly restrictive Good or Bad.  Then, whenever, you are concerned about the outcome of a choice, stop yourself and ask: “Is this a constructive choice for me?”

This question is shorthand for the more detailed question: “Is this choice constructive for my life project and will it set up my future self up to be in a better place?’

Yes, this type of question is intentionally vague. But, this vagueness is important for it making it easy to take a quick moment to think like this, particularly, when you just want to let something else take the wheel.

Again, the importance is not being absolutely Right or to know with high certainty what is exactly constructive or destructive for your future- we can’t know after all. Rather, it's to connect most moments, especially those that are seemingly meaningless indulgences, to your greater life project- injecting a micro-intentionality to your crazy night out.

I promise that this can make a world of difference to your self-confidence and self-trust. You are actively giving your moral intuition a workout. It may be weak at first and the first couple times you try this method, you may feel like you use the vagueness of the constructive question to justify a especially careless outcome.

However, the important part is consistency. Overtime, if you keep asking yourself with seriousness how your choices are setting your future self up for better or tougher times, you eventually will get a better sense of what choices to make. You are literally practicing the sort of awareness that pays attention to cause and effect, and other powerful currents in life like the relationship between insecurity and power.

The importance of intentionality in one’s life highlights the damaging effects of throwing yourself to the wind and allowing external influences or pure emotionality to dictate what is right for you. I strongly believe that if there is a True Evil, it is committed by those who give up their agency to acquiesce to destructive behaviors because they have given up on themselves and life.

Not feeling connected to a purpose or project in your daily life is like being caught in a toxic fog. To not feel like you know at least something about what is good for you denies the true agency that is a potential within us all. Without this agency and fundamental self-trust we are like zombies- open and empty vessels that external forces and our own inner tempests can twist and contort to its whims.

Would you rather be an empty, dependent vessel, or an independent, overflowing cup?

Each and everyone of us has the great power to choose our attitude in any given situation. More importantly, we have the power to resoundingly say “No” to destructive influences and risks. In this way we confirm a resounding “Yes” to life, to our own value, and especially to that future-you who will look back and thank you for the choices you made then.

Because even if those choices were “wrong,” as they inevitably were given our ever present lack of knowledge, if they were made with purpose, they can always contribute to our greater and unique life project.

In the great existentialist tradition, we once again find that developing our sense of meaning is crucial to positive outcomes in life. We are all creators of our life story.

How can you write a better story with the little daily moral experiments we carry out every day?

If a god came to you and gave you the choice between two predetermined lives: One where you stay the same throughout your life, making the same mistakes and beneficial choices over and over, or a life where things start out sh*t but end up better and better, which would you choose?

Micro-intentionality will set you up for a life that does get better. Just take that small moment to check in with yourself and before long you’ll find your intuition will be robust and the benefits of certainty will more often bless you life.

Foods to Focus On: Low Fat and Whole Foods Diet

I am a big fan of targeting fat (versus carbs or protein) as the macronutrient to regulate when selecting foods to eat. There are two basic reasons I think this makes sense.

On the one hand, fats are twice as energy dense as both carbs and protein, having about 8-9 cal per gram versus 4 cal per gram for protein and carbs. So much of weight balance is tied to metabolic balance, specifically the energy balance in your body. This means how much energy you take in from food and the amount you use is crucial as it determines whether your body must store extra fat or burn extra fat to fuel the body. Therefore, reducing the intake of fat means you get less calories per gram of food and can avoid taking in too much energy relative to your needs.

Further, many foods that are especially high in fat are also poor sources of nutrition. Most fried foods fall into this category and its fairly noncontroversial to acknowledge that donuts, fried chicken, and bacon are not the most nutritious foods to eat. Moreover, we know pounding the butter, mayonnaise, and ice cream do not help the waistline either. Finally, it helps us choose better sources of the things high fat foods do supply. For instance, red meat is often defended as a good source of protein. However, relative to its fat content, most white fish is a superior source of protein alone as cod, for instance, is often 95% protein by weight with no additional fat. By making these comparisons one can still supply nutritional needs, like protein, while avoiding blowing their energy balance out of proportion.

One of the diet plans that focuses on reducing fat and increasing healthful food intake is the Ornish Diet. Dr. Ornish sees foods are existing on a continuum of healthfulness such that you never bust the diet if you eat some ice cream one day. It is just preferential to increase intake of more healthful foods while reducing the intake of the high fat foods. Here is a list of some of the other recommendations from his plan:

Avoid foods with greater than 3g of fat per serving
Avoid white flour

Avoid simple sugars

To help you identify low fat foods, you can use tools like the caloric ratio pyramid from nutritiondata.self.com. Foods with scores in the bottom left picture are ideal.

Finally, here is a modified list of low fat/healthy foods to focus your diet on in my opinion. For Ornish's precise recommendations, visit: http://ornishspectrum.com/proven-program/nutrition/

	Low Fat Foods List (Selections from Ornish Diet)
Description	Lowest in bad stuff, highest in good stuff.
Fruits	Fresh; choose locally grown fresh fruit when available. Apples, Bananas, Berries, Cranberries, Cherries, Currants, Figs, Grapes, Guava, Kiwi, Lemon, Lime, Litchi nuts, Mango, Melon, Oranges, Papaya, Persimmons, Pomegranates, Quinces, Rhubarb, Starfruit , Tangerines, Watermelon, Winter melons, Zapote, Dried fruit, without added sugar (Cherries, Cranberries, Dates, Mango, Papaya, Raisins)
Vegetables	Fresh, frozen or low-sodium canned: Choose locally grown fresh vegetables when available. Artichokes, Arugula, Asparagus, Bamboo shoots, Bell peppers (red, green, yellow or orange), Bok choy, Broccoli, Cabbage, Carrots or celery, Cauliflower, Celery, Chilies, Chinese celery, Corn, Cucumber, Dandelion greens, Edemame (soy beans), Eggplant, Escarole, Fennel, Garlic, Ginger, Grape leaves, Green beans, Green leafy vegetables, Jicama, Kale, Leeks, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Mustard greens, Napa or Chinese cabbage, Okra, Onions, Parsnips, Pickles, Potatoes, Radicchio, Scallions, Seaweed, Shallot, Spinach, Squash, summer and winter, Sun dried tomatoes (not in oil), Swiss chard, Tomatoes, Tomato paste, Tomato sauce, Water chestnuts, Watercress; (Group 2) Avocados, Olives
Grains/Cereals	100 percent Whole grain bread, bagels, English muffins, pita bread, 100 percent Whole grain low-fat crackers (Woven Wheat, Finn Crisp, Wasa), Amaranth, Barley, Brown rice, Buckwheat, Bulgur, Corn, Corn tortillas (not fried), Couscous (whole wheat,) Faro, High fiber whole grain cereals (containing at least 4 grams fiber per 100 calories and less than 5 grams sugar), Hominy grits made without fat, butter or bacon, Kasha, Millet, Oatmeal, Oats, Pasta made from whole grain, Polenta, Polvillo, Potatoes, Quinoa, Rice crackers (whole grain), Rye, Soba noodles, Spelt, Sweet potatoes, Tabouli grain salad made without oil, Tortillas (fat free), Udon noodles, Wheat, Wheat berries, Wheat tortillas (fat-free), Wild rice, Yams; (Group 2) Reduced fat flour tortilla
Legumes	Fresh, dried, frozen, canned (no added salt), jarred (no added salt), vacuum sealed (no added salt): Black beans, Black-eyed peas, Cannelinni or butter beans, Chickpeas (garbanzo beans), Fava beans, Great white northern beans, Italian white beans, Lentils, Lima, Mung beans, Navy beans, Peas, Pinto beans, Red beans (kidney beans), Sprouted beans, Wax (yellow) beans
Protein	Egg whites or liquid egg substitutes, Hummus made without oil or Tahini, Soy and soy alternatives: Tofu, Tempeh, Natto, Edemame, Soy hot dogs, Soy fat free sausage, Veggie burgers; (Group 3) Anchovies (fresh), Arctic char, Butterfish, Canned light tuna, Catfish, Caviar, Clams, Cod, Crab, Crawfish, Flounder, Halibut, Herring, Lobster, Mahimahi, Monkfish, Mussels, Orange roughy, Pacific flounder, Pacific sole, Pollack, Salmon, wild Alaska and Pacific, Sanddabs, Sardines not packed in oil, Scallops, Sea bass, Shrimp, Snapper, Squid/calamari, Striped bass, Sturgeon, Tilapia, Trout, Tuna, fresh or canned light
Dairy and dairy substitutes	Enriched oat milk, Enriched rice milk, Enriched soy milk, Fat-free or skim milk, Fat-free buttermilk, Fat-free sour cream, Fat-free cream cheese, Fat-free cottage cheese, Fat-free yogurt, Canned evaporated milk, Fat-free (skim), coconut water, Fat-free dry milk powder; (Group 2) Low fat dairy (1 percent), Sweetened non-fat and 1 percent yogurt, Fat free frozen yogurt, Fat free puddings and sweets (up to 2 servings daily), Parmesan cheese as a flavor enhancer
Fats/oils	Fish oil (omega 3 fatty acids), Fat-free non-dairy salad dressings, Non-stick cooking spray, Fat-free margarine spreads; (Group 2) Canola oil, Flaxseed oil, Olive oil, Safflower oil, Sesame oil, Nuts and nut butters: Almonds (unsalted), Cashews (unsalted), Mixed nuts (unsalted), Peanuts (unsalted), Pecans (unsalted), Pumpkin seeds (unsalted), Sesame seeds, Sunflower seeds (unsalted), Walnuts
Herbs, spices and other flavor additives	Bonito flakes, Brewers yeast, Broth (vegetable, mushroom), Capers, Chili flakes, Chutneys, Fennel seeds, Flax seeds, Fresh or dried herbs and spices, such as allspice, cinnamon, basil, cumin, curry powder, corriander, parsley, oregano, etc., Garlic, Green chiles (canned), Hoisin sauce and plum sauce, malt powder, Miso, Mustard, Natural vanilla, Pepper, Plain and flavored vinegars, Poppy seeds, Rice wine vinegar, low sodium, Salsa or picante sauce, Vinegars, Yeast, Wheat germ
Sweeteners	Stevia, Honey (Sm. Amts.)
Beverages	Green Tea (iced and hot), Caffeine free herbal teas (iced and hot), Fruit juice (up to 8 oz daily), Beer (up to 12 oz daily), Wine (up to 6 oz daily), Sake; (Group 2) Black tea